Monday, June 24, 2013

Monday is over

   

         Still bit withdrawn from life. Most of the day sitting in front of the screen and sending those applications all over the place. Today I’ve realized I could try homeless jobs. Generally I’m made for social work, but I don’t have to work with kids necessarily. I just need to do something that makes sense and is as far removed from capitalist relationships as possible. I don’t say it for a pose. I just don’t want to work for a capitalist enterprise. It feels so dry and empty. I need something with people, where I could use my energy to help others. Not because I’m a good person (though I’m trying), but it is the only thing that makes sense to me right now. Other things just feel stupid.
     What else? I feel lonely. Tatiana is couple of thousands miles away. I don’t have any company that I could really share my heart with. You know – doubts, fears, hopes. I have to hold it in. Not much creative neither. No way I could continue with my novel until I sort myself out. Not even songs writing. First the job. Then place to live. And only then I can start to think about other things. Why? I don’t know. I’m just too strung up to do anything else.
     Little song to mellow out, maybe a movie (“Safety Not Guaranteed”) and Monday is over.
   
  Big Machine (Acoustic Version) by Mark Duplass on Grooveshark
The drawing is "recycled" from my old blog. I like to escape to those dream realms:)

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